CLOCKED — every morning at a random minute a secret shopper orders a $1 transfer and a $1 swap on Arc, times it to final, keeps the receipt, and on Sunday prints the column.
simulated — this week's mediansimulated
Ordered 06:41:07 UTC. Menu says sub-second. Plate came out in 1243 ms. Fee 0.000421 USDC to 18 decimals.
A $1 transfer and a $1 swap at a random minute, send to final on a stopwatch, fee to the last of 18 decimals, read against the launch claims every Sunday. Open a tab to see the house shopper's wallet cap and schedule now, then watch each run land on the spike.
Arc
2026-09-16 · 1d 12h ago
Worker dry-runs on Arc testnet; page lists the launch claims (sub-second finality, ~$0.001 fee target) that will be tested.
Official source: https://www.circle.com/pressroom/circle-announces-founding-validator-cohort-and-major-integrations-for-arc-ahead-of-september-16-mainnet-launch · verified 2026-09-16T18:48:42+00:00
the shopper walks in at a minute nobody can predict
The minute is drawn, not picked
You set a window. The shopper draws a minute inside it each night. Nobody gets to order in a quiet hour.
window: 06:00–10:00 UTC · next minute drawn: 2026-09-18T06:00:00.000Z
today's order ticket clipped to the rail
Today's order
Ordered, final, and the stopwatch reading — or, most days for now: no order yet today.
Read receipt →the menu board: one coffee, one slice, one dollar each
On the menu: one coffee, one slice
The coffee is a $1 USDC transfer. The slice is a $1 swap on univ4-arc. Same order every day so the only thing that changes is the kitchen.
Coffee — $1 transfer
$1.00
Slice — $1 swap (univ4-arc)
$1.00
stopwatch readings pinned under the menu board promise
Menu says. Stopwatch says.
Every dot is one run, send to final, measured from the RPC. The line is what launch said (C3).
the till roll printing the check
The check, to the last digit
Fees are paid in USDC and printed exactly as the chain reports them. Nothing rounded, nothing averaged away — launch targets about $0.001 per transfer (C10).
0.000424 USDC last runsimulated
| Run | Fee (USDC, 18dp) |
|---|---|
| R030 | 0.000424000000000000simulated |
| R029 | 0.000507000000000000simulated |
| R027 | 0.000576000000000000simulated |
| R026 | 0.000490000000000000simulated |
| R024 | 0.000554000000000000simulated |
receipts pushed down onto the steel spindle by the register
The spike
Every receipt, newest on top, 50 at a time. Filter slow, pricey, sent back.
| Run | Sent | Latency | Fee |
|---|---|---|---|
| R030 | 2026-09-16 09:58 | 437 mssimulated | 0.000424simulated |
| R029 | 2026-09-15 08:53 | 779 mssimulated | 0.000507simulated |
| R028 | 2026-09-14 08:03 | sent back | — |
| R027 | 2026-09-13 07:56 | 1682 mssimulated | 0.000576simulated |
| R026 | 2026-09-12 08:56 | 936 mssimulated | 0.000490simulated |
| R025 | 2026-09-11 07:29 | sent back | — |
| R024 | 2026-09-10 08:53 | 1814 mssimulated | 0.000554simulated |
| R023 | 2026-09-09 07:30 | 627 mssimulated | 0.000472simulated |
| R022 | 2026-09-08 09:46 | 999 mssimulated | 0.000607simulated |
| R021 | 2026-09-07 07:20 | 1654 mssimulated | 0.000597simulated |
the tray of orders sent back to the kitchen
Sent back
Failed runs stay on the record with the reason the kitchen gave. A benchmark that drops them is a menu, not a review.
2 sent back this week: R028, R025
simulated- maxFeePerGas below 20 Gwei — dropped by the mempool (C13)
- RPC timeout on send — no receipt to record
- Swap slippage exceeded on univ4-arc
the kitchen swing door: what the dining room can and cannot see
What we can see from the dining room
Clocked measures what a customer sees: the time from our worker's send call to the RPC reporting the transaction final, and the fee on the receipt in USDC to 18 decimals. Each run keeps the exact RPC call it was measured from. Runs happen at a random minute inside the shopper's window so results are not tuned to quiet hours.
We do not measure validator internals, we do not average away failed runs, and a week with no runs shows no numbers. The worker signs only from the shopper's own agent wallet under the spend limit the shopper set; the shopper can revoke it at any time. Repeated block timestamps on Arc are flagged, not trusted (C14) — we cannot see inside the kitchen, only what comes back out through the swing door.
- Latency is measured send-call to RPC-confirms-final, never a self-reported number.
- Fees are read from the receipt itself, printed to 18 decimals, never rounded.
- A week with zero runs shows zero numbers — no average papers over a quiet week.
- The house shopper only ever signs from its own capped wallet, never a visitor's.
the columnist's typewriter in the corner booth
Sunday column
The week's slowest, priciest and failed runs, typed up next to the claims they test. Published by the person who funded the wallet.
Read the column →
an empty stool at the counter with a blank order ticket
Pull up a stool
Bring your own agent wallet, set your own cap, revoke it when you like. Clocked never holds your money.
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